January 16th 2012 was our 6 mos check up at Shriners for Lil Man. Our check up didn't go as good as we hoped he has a foot that is lifting and turning in on us. This is something that I take alot of blame for, every night that he wears his magic shoes I have to wrestle with 2 things one is the mommy in me that doesn't want her baby to hurt or cry and the Adult that knows he needs to wear them as much as possible to assure that his feet will stay where they need to. I know this and of course I only want what is best for him, I would love to say it is so easy to just let him cry but when you hear your little one cry "Mommy Mommy my feet hurt" and he cries and cries, I think any parent would find it impossible to leave and not comfort him or relieve his pain. The only way to relieve his pain is removing the bar on his shoes. Yes I know I shouldn't do it but, we both need sleep and I cant stand to hear him cry! Well I am sure because of that we are where we are now and that is that if it wasn't for the fact we live in Montana and the hospital is in Washington our Lil man would of came home with his about 17th pair of casts on to stretch and move his foot back where it should be. Yes I know what I did is not right I know this but you have to put yourself in my shoes for a minute. So we have until March to stretch feet and make sure he wears his shoes no matter what every night all night long no matter how much sleep I dont get, his feet are more important, I can nap if needed, RIGHT? I have to just have to buck up and deal!!!
So here I am on my 6th day of not giving in to his cries at night and we are both lacking sleep. The 1st night was not good at all he was up about every 1.5 hours crying in pain so I repositioned him and loved him letting him know that I am here and that we cant take off his shoes and reassuring him that he can do this I know he can, he is such a strong boy. Night #2 was pretty much the same Night #3 I just got off a 12hr shift and then up every 2 hours with Lil Man doing the same the only difference is his bed is about 2.5 ft off the floor and he managed to get his feet with his brace over the edge of the bed rail and the weight of his shoes and legs pulled him out of bed and hit the floor, oh my gosh talk about give a parent a heart attack, I felt so bad for him. He was so confused as to what the heck happened. So now dad has created a fortress for him complete with an air matress attached to the side of his bed securely so he cant roll out. We have a comforter and pillow at the end of the bed and 2 large pillows on the floor. This will buy us some time until we can build something. Believe me when you are a parent of a child with something like this you can get very creative trying to make them comfortable and safe! I remember when he was a new born and we had to find or make clothes for him to go over his Magic shoes, because back then he had to wear them 24hrs a day!
As of last night he has wore his shoes every night all night long, not without problems, crying, pain and falling out of the bed but all that matters is that he is doing it and we I am massaging his feet and stretching them too! As I watched him run all over Lowes and Home Depot tonight, to watch him from the outside you would not even know that he was born with messed up feet. I have such pride and admiration for him he is an amazingly strong and determined child, he isnt going to let anything get in his way! I am so very proud of both my children they are both very unique in their own ways, they are amazing! We are so very Blessed.
I dont want you to think that my writing this story is so I can complain and whine about our situation. It is not! I just want people to know what we have been through and if you know anyone who might benefit in our experience, that might like to have someone to talk to if they are going through this too I am there for them! I am Very Thankful EVERYDAY that we are not dealing with anything more serious, I am Thankful that our boys are happy and HEALTHY and so are we! We have learned to live with less and live more simply! The most important things in life are the people that love you!!!! I Love my boys with all of my heart and I will be there for them Forever no matter what!